Hi Again

I'm Back
Well its been a while since I've posted on here but I am back. I doubt anybody is reading this anymore but I will write every week from now 0n I promise. So I think we will need to fill in the gap from my holiday. I have been working my bum off to pay off my overdraft eventually did then came back to University and was straight back into my overdraft again.
I am living with two of the people I lived with last year I never realised how annoying they were until it was just the three of us. They never dry up their washing up they just leave it to drain all the time. Also A as he will be known always clogs up the sink drain with pasta and cooked cheese. And complains about doing all the housework when he does none. P isn't too bad.
I did get tickets to go to see Bowling for Soup and it was amazing seeing Bowling for Soup and Bloodhound Gang. Definitely want to see them again next year if they do another Get Happy Tour together. Already thinking about going to Download this year.
I got a job at Flares in Guildford, so I'm working about 4 nights a week getting nearly no sleep and doing only half my coursework because of that. Also have joined the student Radio station GU2, also am Stats man for one of the Sports Soceities. And on top of all this am Secretary for the Departmental Soceity and Tutoring in Woking College. I have barely anytime for myself and I think I'm going crazy.
Details
Moving In Again
I moved into my house about three weeks before University started, not just to get away from home but to settle into my new job aswell. This meant that I had moved to Surrey VERY early as semester starts about a month before most Unis and I had moved three weeks before that. All my friends at home were still in Essex for at least an extra 7 weeks.
Anyway on the day I moved in we had to sign the contract and look at the inventory so A &P were there and it was the first time we had seen each other since last year, so we chatted for a little while. Then once all the paperwork was out of the way I proceeded to unpack my stuff. Then two days later I had my first night at work which was quite fun, the dancing on stage isnt as bad as you think it is going to be.
University
Its really weird being back and alot harder than last year as I have to work and try and get the departmental Soceity more active. And joining more Soceities did not make it any easier. I am meant to be applying for a placement year but cannot find a enough time.
Get Happy Tour
I went to Brighton for a gig, we were late in the usual spirit of me and Dan. But we then didn't have to que. And we didnt bother watching the second act we just grabbed a couple of drinks and chatted which was nice then we watched Bloodhound Gang which was amazing. The guitarist drank a glowstick, pulled an amp acroos the stage using a peice of chain wrapped around a cerain appendage. And later on he chugged a pitcher of beer to regurgitate some then drink it. Also the singer took of his cap and the guitarist regurgitated in that, the singer then placed it upon his head.
Then Bowling for Soup came on and they were really good, but I think I preferred Bloodhound Gang. Then on the journey home my friends friend wanted me to get in the back of the car with her. So I rode in the back and I woke up the next day with scratches and bruises in strange places. Don't worry we didn't do anything to serious in the back.
Tutoring
And klast week I started Tutoring and now I definitely have no time for me. I have just taken the afternoon off and I have loads of coursework to do but I have gone past caring. Stay tuned as a new post will be here next week.

Happiness

Lets Talk Happy

Thank God at last some happy things to write about, well if you wait lon enough I suppose its bound to happen.

I went on holiday for a week, but before that I went to DOWNLOAD FESTIVAL, with more breasts, drugs, drink and fun. Than I'd ever experienced before. Me and Miss X arrived on the thursday, met her bf (great), and our tent was set up already which was great.

Day One

So we arrived met her friends and boyfriend from up north for first time, and they were all great people even her boyfriend which is even more annoying, I just kinda was hoping he was an arsehole so I could come home and tell people how bad he was. But he wasn't he was really nice. I had alot of descimination for being a southerner, but Miss X had told them she was from London not Essex, which she was born in London, but she has lived in Essex longer, I think. I think she's ashamed.

Day Two

Watched a few bands today it was quite good, this aint really my kind of music really, but I had come, HINDER were great though so that kept me on a high, talking about highs. I dont know how many people I saw smoking weed, or how many legal drugs stores I saw but there was alot.

Day Four

Not much happened on Day Three So Skipped here. Apart from being kicked from my tent for the night. Took a trip to the car early on and put all our stuff we didnt need in it. This turned out to be a very good idea.

Saw bowling for soup who were amazing and therefore I'm in the process of buying tickets for their Get Happy tour. Woop Woop. And Bloodhound gang will be there aswell. The others watched Iron Maiden, definitely not my cup of tea. So I went to see Reel Big Fish, which I had heard good things about. They were fu£$in* amazing. Definitely gonna see them again. Then went to bed. Kidding, actually met two great scottish blokes over the weekend and about 15 of us got gothed up with black and white face paints and went around the campsites. It was amazing. Then sleep. Then went home in the morning.

Not Much Later. Holiday

No sooner had I unpacked my download stuff than I was packing my holiday Suitcase. Of to Cyprus we went, never has a flight taken so long and so boring. No TV. No food. 4.5 hours. Even with the extra leg room, it was monotonous and wrong, flying should be fun.

We got there and got an hour transfer to our hotel. Mum and Dad had said that Agia Napa was a short walk down the road from our hotel when we passed Agia Napa in the Taxi it tookl a further 20 minutes to get to our hotel. This was not what I call a short walk.

The next day I paid for a couple of excursions a party and a Beach BBQ.

The party was good fun, thats it. Sorry but that was it. Good fun, not amazing just Good.

The BBq on the other hand was hilarious, a more my age kinda thing. There was a macho man competition, with three judges and three rounds and 12 contestants. I got a vote in one round. And seeings as in the last two rounds 5/6 votes went to one person. I think I did well to get a vote in the first round.

But apart from the two nights out it was a bit boring, I am definitely going to either New Quay or Zante next year with my mates.

Another link to the same blog I

These two links only apply to those people I know at University, as my friends back at home are not all in couples where as at university they all are. All the good uns are anyway.

This is a great quote.

This is someone elses blog but loved the quote so thought I'd link it here.

Summer Part II

The Work

I have been working for an agency during my holidays in factories and stuff. For the first week of summer I have been a Dustman in the Villages surrounding my town, it has been real fun, as all the bloke I work with are dirty old bastards they make me feel good. Its a great laugh and easy work. The men will look at the ladies walk past rather than the road which is quiet worrying tho.

And the other day it was really sunny and now I have a red face, not sunburnt just red.

The Life

And at last my parents have booked the holiday, luckily I can make it to my friends leaving party just after, I'll probably fall asleep at it as i get back at 4 am. But she seemed real pleased I could make it. Which surprises me as she never really cares for me at other times. And I really like her she's pretty and inteligent. But shes, not Miss X.

Who I met today, as soon as I saw her I couldn't get the smile off my face. She acted worse than my mum tho with the nagging about camping equipment but she is just worried. I dont think she has done a festival before. Apparently her University friends are gonna be there which is news to me. But a weekend with her is worth it. Her boyfriend, if he's still her boyfriend is gonna be there tho. I probably wont like him. As the onloy one shes had that I liked was my best friend. But hey thats life, the Bastards get the girls most of the time.

I think thats it for now.

Summer Holidays Part I

The 411

Summer is here and all is right with the world. Lets all party til the sun goes down. Errrrrmmmm.. I think this is what I'm mean to be thnking but actually I'm worrying about exam grades did I pass, by how much, is that enough to get the placement I want. On top of that my friends are still at Uni til the end of the weekend and my parents haven't decided where we are going on holiday to in two weeks time yet. Arrrrgggggh

Holiday

TWO WEEKS. My parents have usually had this booked for atleast 3 months by now but no. This year they have left it too the last minute. I think its there old age, they probably just forgot. To be honest I don't care if we go or not. I just wanna have a week off to read the Harry Potter book, I know SAD. But they will just get more and more stressed out and that will stress me out. God, they always tell me not to leave stuff to the last minute. I wish they could just make there mind up on at least what country they wanna go to.

Friends

Miss X, is coming back this Sunday and she has invited me to the Download festival, ONLY £150. I get to share a tent with her and her brother. I know I shouldn't I'll probably end up saying how I still love her even tho she still probably doesn't love me back. But how can I not go she said she'd rather I go, and I'd rather be her friend than nothing at all. I can't beleive its been so long since we've seen each other, but one text saying she's got a spare ticket and all the feelings come flooding back. People say that they're in love and some of them I beleive but sometime I think of X and all I can think is how can they know what love is, this is love, it hurts.

Love is soo surreal, I was friends with her for two weeks thought of her as another normal friend. We got real close real soon and all I thought was I had got a really good close friend. The she started dating another guy. It hit me, she was a girl and she understood me , I understood her, we talked relaxedly for a couple of hours at a time. Also I didn't like the bloke and that made me realise how much I cared about her, but I couldn't tell her then when she just got into a relationship.

Then they broke up, I couldn't tell her then they had just broke up. Then she got together with someone else, and so on. Eventually about Jan 2006 I told her then she freaked out. Never been the same since. I lost best friendship rights. But I'm not sure whether I want to get near her again it might just hurt more. After we "broke apart", she dated my best male friend, which I didn't mind as he was a great bloke, But I heard from someone else. That hurt.

Love Hurts.

Life At University Aint Grand : Chapter 4

Take A Break

I'm going to take a break from writing about University. The little man in my head just went YAY. And I think it's time to reflect upon the past. Lets go with a random subject. That my friends just brought up..aka not that random at all.

Colour Blind

OK, some of you will be thinking a good song done by the counting crows, others WTF did he just say about crows. But this is about my condition, being colourblind may seem like a little thing most of the time to me, it isn't it really affects my life. I cant see tones, eg scarlet, turquoise, indigo, violet. Also cant see purple. Purple is not a colour to me, its another shade of blue. And this ain't a big deal most of the time.

At primary school I remember going to the nurses office for a test, they had a pad with coloured dots all over it and the nurse asked me to say what number was in the green dots. I must have sat there for about 5 minutes straining looking at that page turning it around wondering if she was just playing with me, she did a few more pages I still couldn't see these numbers.

I went back to class then my teacher told the class I was colourblind, then came the thing that would follow me for the rest of my life. THE TESTING. What colour is this .....? I don't think they realise I don't care what colour a piece of paper is. And god forbid if I get a colour right five times in a row apparently I'm lying, I'm actually perfectly OK and I'm using this condition to get more attention. Some people shouldn't judge others by there own standards.

I also remember painting at primary school either the sea or the sky pink or purple. Really good abstract work if that was what I was trying.

Life At University Aint Grand : Chapter 3

Why Did I Go To University?

That is a question I find myself asking more and more these days. People say if you hate maths so much why did you choose it. And my reply is always "I am good at it". I mean I am, I dont revise alot but I always seem to get high marks, not the highest but high enough. But was that really a good enough reason.

I wanted a new experience aswell, somethiung to get me away from home and this has definitely given me that I must say I have enjoyed the social side of things a hell of a lot more than I thought I would. I suppose it is because at home my "best" friend is teatotal and so we dont go out alot I get too extremes really.

At the end of the day I suppose I did it because everyone else expected me to go, my parents, my teachers and my pain in the arse brother.

My Brother

Why am I writing about him here, mainly because I have xtra space to fill in this post.

He always thought I was the most loved. He always thinks I'm trying to one up him. But I'm not. I do what others expect of me I suppose. I'm the nice guy, someone has to be. But him, he's the bitchy guy. I'll be talking to mum about my friends and he'll bitch about my friends that he hasn't even met yet. Her has these really expressive eyes that always seem to say. REALLY?

Then he goes through college doing a management course, comes out the othere end and goes into repping abroad, which is his right he can travel the world. Three years later he's still repping, no promotion and thinking of staying another year. My parents dont have enough money to push him through that and me through university, thats why I dont ask for help. I havent taken any money off my parents this first year. Well thats not true they gave me 100 pounds over christmas holiday and I think I got a twenty at some point.

He thinks they love me more, he assumes they are giving me loads of money and when I said no they are not they are giving it to you. He said how much debt have you got, I said 7000 so far. He looked bemused as to how I got that far in debt, TOM it comes from looking after YOURSELF. They don't love me more, they like me more I've done more with my life. Sorry but you have gone nowhere and are going nowhere.

I mean out there he doesnt have to pay for food or rent. He gets three free drinks a fortnight so if he went out lets say 2 nights a week he cant be spending more than150 pounds over a fortnight.So where does 500 pounds go in a week. I am really worried about him out there he could be into drugs or anything.

Most of all he hurts my parents in how he doesn't care about life, ok live for the present I get that, but still look to the future for hope at least. No he thinks he's gonna get run over tommorrow.

Life At University Aint Grand : Chapter 2

So Now You Know The Situation

In the last post I left off where I had told you why I was stuck in this situation. Now we get, to how I got here, literally not metaphorically.

Moving In Day

The Plan

Moving in day is when the university first get to show you what a sleek oiled working machine they really are, they sent me a time to get to my accomodation at 3.30 so my parents thought if we leave at 11 O'clock we would get to the town centre about 1 O'clock have lunch. Then arrive on campus at 3. Get settled into accomodation and then go to Tescos get the essentials. They could get home at a reasonable time and all would be grand in the world.

The Reality

But as usual it all got off to a great start, we got to the M25 which is a motorway that circles London only to find it closed in one direction and traffic jammed in the other. So we decide to go through London instead I mean how hard can it be right, right, WRONG. We get lost and drive round in circles with Dad's new GPS telling us all kinds of crazy directions and then when WE go the wrong way it starts screaming at us do a U-turn now. Which wouldn't be to bad if we weren't on one way streets.

We eventually get out of London, on the otherside of the closure. Simple coasting from here right. Wrong again. As we go down another motorway to the University there is a turn off before the one that we want that says "Town this way", I say to Mum not this one the next turning she acknowledges but turns off anyway. Obviously just not listening. After some heated discussion we get her to drive us back on the road but she gets us back on going the way we just came all tempers are on the edge of a knife. Eventually we arrive at the campus.

Some normal everyday student who had unwittingly put himself in danger by helping out on moving in day for freshers, giving cars directions to there car parks was in for a big surprise. Mum pulls up beside the young chap. Dad rolls down the window, he asks for directions then asks more questions when met with a student that doesn't know the full ins and outs of the plan. Dad lets loose all cannons. Mum immediatly starts driving off before Dad scares the poor kid to death.

Everyone calms down as everything else on campus goes to plan, we then go to Tesco's to get essentials, we arrive and nearly all the shelves are empty, apparently nobody had told the tescos that freshers would be moving in today, we get half the stuff I need, walk back to campus Mum and Dad leave to go home. So all in all we didn't deviate much from the plan.

The Good

Oh there was good in here somewhere. As I unpacked I met what would become a great friend, hopefully a life long friend ( lets hope he doesn't read this and get a big head) Paul.He lives opposite, as in the opposite end of the hall way. He studys the same modules as me and we talked and got friendly. Also then moved in Louise she was nice to meet but I didn't imagine we'd get along she seemed abit of a clean freak. The others didn't make much of an impression. We all had a safety meeting to go to in the evening , none of us wanted to go but we were promised free drinks. Off we went, Alex had only just arrived. It was the same old, dont leave kitchen door open will set off fire alarms in hallway. Do not...blah.

At the end we had a free drink each then left it was really crowded. Being still early we went back to the flat as I now call it. When we arrived Alex's parents and little brothers were still unpacking, how did he get them so well trained, they all had big smiles on there faces as if they couldn't be happier doing anything else. Any way they finished and we were all in the kitchen then talking, when someone suggested we go to the union, it might have been me.

So we all got ready and went to the union, it really cheered me up, the first time I had gone to a nightclub in england, the first time I had gone to a nightclub not by myself. Later I would find two of these six housemates to be true friends. And the rest would be friends.

First Post

Life as a University Student Aint that Grand

Chapter 1

People always say, "Go to university it will be one of the best periods of your life." and they are right, BUT with the highs come the lows, and this is what this entry is about.

Many people write about how fun life is at University, they pass over that it is also stressful and manic saying that this will be outshone by the overall experience. But be warned, you can only look at the overall experience once its done and paid off. Only then can you look back and laugh. I'm in the stage where I just want to sitdown and cry.

Why Quitting Aint An Option

1. I've spent 7,000 pounds that I don't have, too much to leave and live with my parents til its paid off. I'd have to pay it all back then try and get on my feet, probably be at home for anything from 2-5 years, I've tasted freedom I couldn't do that it wouldn't be fair on me. And it wouldn't be fair on them.
2. I live in the South of England now with more up market friends. Where as if I go home I will be back with my down market friends, who weren't really that great friends at all when I come to think about it. I have the same caliber of friends as Julius Ceaser except mine are probably easeir to bribe and living in Essex could probably get hold off AK-47's and a couple of Krashnikovs instead of knives. I understand that in this bullet point I have painted a very bleak picture of myself but I have never told anyone that I am a nice guy. I have qualities but I also have negatives as does everyone.
3. What would I do. I mean even if I did go back to Essex.(May I just say to those of you who don't know what essex is like, it has the worst reputation in England of all the Counties. And rightly so. But we'll come back to essex in another entry.) What job would I get? What oppurtunitues would lay ahead?

Why Suicide Aint An Option

1. The most important fact of this argument is that I'm too lazy, thats right lazy is my main factor. Sounds silly but think about it I'd have too find a suitable place suitable materials. Write a letter and stuff. Nah living is much easier.
2. Is there a god, is there a hell. What if I commit suicide and then go to hell, I would really be upset. Much easier to live die of natural causes then see whats on the other side. And even worse than if I went to hell. What if theres nothing on the other side, what if I die and thats it, POP I'm gone. That scares the hell outta me. And from there to the next logical step.
3. Fear, I'm one of the biggest cowards you'll ever see. I say that but sometimes my own either stupidness or bravery has shocked me sometimes. I'm scared of heights I can't stand on a stool without being absolutely scared out of my wits. So how would I jump from a great height.
4. The most silly, I don't want my Brother to get my money or anything of mine. I hate him soooo much. I mean don't get me wrong I love him and I'll always help him when he's in need. But he does my head in and until that moment comes I'd rather stay in a different continent to him, and give him nothing that he could pawn of for drugs, alcohol and cigarettes.
5. Slightly less silly, I don't want to die a virgin.
6. I'm human, I want to live.

So I Guess I better Stay!!

If you have any comments please send them to me much appreciated.