Life At University Aint Grand : Chapter 4

Take A Break

I'm going to take a break from writing about University. The little man in my head just went YAY. And I think it's time to reflect upon the past. Lets go with a random subject. That my friends just brought up..aka not that random at all.

Colour Blind

OK, some of you will be thinking a good song done by the counting crows, others WTF did he just say about crows. But this is about my condition, being colourblind may seem like a little thing most of the time to me, it isn't it really affects my life. I cant see tones, eg scarlet, turquoise, indigo, violet. Also cant see purple. Purple is not a colour to me, its another shade of blue. And this ain't a big deal most of the time.

At primary school I remember going to the nurses office for a test, they had a pad with coloured dots all over it and the nurse asked me to say what number was in the green dots. I must have sat there for about 5 minutes straining looking at that page turning it around wondering if she was just playing with me, she did a few more pages I still couldn't see these numbers.

I went back to class then my teacher told the class I was colourblind, then came the thing that would follow me for the rest of my life. THE TESTING. What colour is this .....? I don't think they realise I don't care what colour a piece of paper is. And god forbid if I get a colour right five times in a row apparently I'm lying, I'm actually perfectly OK and I'm using this condition to get more attention. Some people shouldn't judge others by there own standards.

I also remember painting at primary school either the sea or the sky pink or purple. Really good abstract work if that was what I was trying.

Life At University Aint Grand : Chapter 3

Why Did I Go To University?

That is a question I find myself asking more and more these days. People say if you hate maths so much why did you choose it. And my reply is always "I am good at it". I mean I am, I dont revise alot but I always seem to get high marks, not the highest but high enough. But was that really a good enough reason.

I wanted a new experience aswell, somethiung to get me away from home and this has definitely given me that I must say I have enjoyed the social side of things a hell of a lot more than I thought I would. I suppose it is because at home my "best" friend is teatotal and so we dont go out alot I get too extremes really.

At the end of the day I suppose I did it because everyone else expected me to go, my parents, my teachers and my pain in the arse brother.

My Brother

Why am I writing about him here, mainly because I have xtra space to fill in this post.

He always thought I was the most loved. He always thinks I'm trying to one up him. But I'm not. I do what others expect of me I suppose. I'm the nice guy, someone has to be. But him, he's the bitchy guy. I'll be talking to mum about my friends and he'll bitch about my friends that he hasn't even met yet. Her has these really expressive eyes that always seem to say. REALLY?

Then he goes through college doing a management course, comes out the othere end and goes into repping abroad, which is his right he can travel the world. Three years later he's still repping, no promotion and thinking of staying another year. My parents dont have enough money to push him through that and me through university, thats why I dont ask for help. I havent taken any money off my parents this first year. Well thats not true they gave me 100 pounds over christmas holiday and I think I got a twenty at some point.

He thinks they love me more, he assumes they are giving me loads of money and when I said no they are not they are giving it to you. He said how much debt have you got, I said 7000 so far. He looked bemused as to how I got that far in debt, TOM it comes from looking after YOURSELF. They don't love me more, they like me more I've done more with my life. Sorry but you have gone nowhere and are going nowhere.

I mean out there he doesnt have to pay for food or rent. He gets three free drinks a fortnight so if he went out lets say 2 nights a week he cant be spending more than150 pounds over a fortnight.So where does 500 pounds go in a week. I am really worried about him out there he could be into drugs or anything.

Most of all he hurts my parents in how he doesn't care about life, ok live for the present I get that, but still look to the future for hope at least. No he thinks he's gonna get run over tommorrow.